Lauren Preedy – Head of our Divorce Team

Your Children and Divorce

Children of all ages can find their parent’s separation and divorce difficult. This can also apply to adult children. This is not just at the time of separation, but also on an on-going basis.

Assisting your children through divorce

Children generally do not like change and they do not like their Mum and Dad, not to be getting on.

Divorce and separation gives rise to a lots of uncertainty. As her parents struggle to make sense of their own future and work out their financial arrangements, there is even more uncertainty for their children.

Am I going to be able to continue to live in my home?

When I going to see mum or dad?

Will I still be able to go to the same school?

Will I lose touch with my friends?

What is going to happen to the family pet?

Did something I do cause the problems between mum and dad?

Fiona Griffin

Fiona Griffin; Divorce specialist and Collaborative Family Lawyer

Very often the situation seems out of control for the adults. But at least the adults are able to make decisions and have a say in the outcome. The children. The situation between the parents and its implications really is out of their control.

To make things worse, parents can become stuck in arguments to such an extent that they lose sight of how things are for their children. Even worse, parents can try and draw their children into adult disputes by asking them to take sides. The response of children is often to say what they think the adult wants them to say, in order to please them.

Giving a joint message to children

The best thing that parents can do is to try and agree a joint message that could be given to their children about how the relationship ended, how the children were not in any way to blame for has happened, how the parents are working together to make a

Bridget Garrood; Divorce specialist and Collaborative Family Lawyer

future plans, and how the children are loved by both parents and that they should not worry.

Sadly, it is not always possible to achieve this joint message, and nor is it possible for parents to keep arguments away from their children.

Help at school?

In order to help the children deal with the situation as best they can, you may find it helpful to inform the head teachers at their schools of the home situation, to ensure that extra support is given to the children if they require it. I have found that head teachers in this situation are generally very helpful and the awareness of the relevant school staff can make a great deal of difference to how a child copes with the inevitable emotional upheaval of parental separation.

Karen Elliott

Karen Elliott: Divorce specialist

Access to counselling

It may also be possible to access counselling (if appropriate) via the school nurse or family GP.

It’s important that parents do not allow their children to bottle up negative feelings and that they encourage them to talk about how they are feeling, and provide reassurance to them.

You may have questions such as: How to help a child deal with divorce? How to prepare your child for divorce? Helping children cope with divorce? We have created an FAQ’s page that can help answer those questions.

Latest News

Is there going to be a spike in divorce cases when lockdown ends?

Ever since the country entered into lockdown there have been warnings about the effect of lockdown on relationships, and the possibility that when it finally ends there will be a spike in divorce cases. Now Citizens Advice have added their.

Read more
Is an arbitration award final?

If you are involved in divorce proceedings you may be considering using arbitration to sort out the financial settlement. Arbitration involves both parties instructing an arbitrator to decide the case for them, rather than have the matter

Read more
What happens to pensions on divorce?

It is a common scenario that on divorce one party will have significant pension provision, and the other party will have little or none. Clearly, this may be a relevant factor in any divorce settlement, but how exactly are pensions dealt wi

Read more
Welcome to Sarah Hindle – Child Law Expert / Head of our Child Law Team

We are very pleased to welcome Child Law specialist solicitor, Sarah Hindle to our team as Head of our Child Law Team. Sarah has joined us from the leading London Child Law team of Bindmans LLP. Sarah’s legal career has been mostly in London, including  with other leading Child Law firms;  Creighton & Partners and […]

Read more
The requirement to negotiate reasonably …and the penalty for not doing so

It is actually quite rare for financial remedy proceedings (i.e. proceedings relating to the financial settlement on divorce) to go all the way to a final contested hearing, at which the court has to adjudicate upon the matter.

Read more
Using similar fact evidence to support your case

Your partner has subjected you to systematic abuse. You want to bring it to the attention of the court, but you fear that the court will not believe you. What if you then found out that your partner had abused someone else in the same way?

Read more
Where are divorce records kept?

For most people who have gone through a divorce it is an academic question: where are the records of the divorce kept? It may of course be of interest to anyone investigating their family history, but it can also be crucial to anyone who

Read more
We are recruiting – Family Law Solicitor /(potential) Mediator

Fantastic opportunity; Talented Family Law Solicitor needed to join fastest growing family law team in South West (Winners Modern Law Awards 2020 – Boutique Practice (11+Employees)).

Read more
Family Mediator/Lawyer Mediator wanted

Award-winning South-West family law and mediation practice seeking mediator to join our team. Lawyer mediators and specialist mediators considered. Range of employment options. Join a friendly team and progressive practice.

Read more
We are now able to assist clients in Yeovil

I am very pleased to announce that we are now able to assist clients in Yeovil. We now have access to a consulting room the White House, Hendford Hill, Yeovil BA20 2RF. This is located near to Yeovil town centre. There is a map below.

Read more
I want a divorce where do I begin?

You’ve come to the painful conclusion that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. You want a divorce, but where do you start? The situation can seem overwhelming. Your entire life appears to hang in the balance: with whom you live...

Read more
Can divorce ever be easy?

It’s a simple question, and one that, one suspects, often goes through the mind of those involved in, or contemplating, divorce. Divorce has a reputation for being one of the most difficult and stressful things anyone has to go through duri

Read more